Oh my god,
OH MY GOD.
Ok, I should have listened and not go to the funeral. But I won't forgive myself ever. I kinda had to go.
It's raining and will be storming outside soon. I feel sick (I'm actually sick lol) and depressed. No, depressed isn't the right word. I'm not sad about his passing away anymore but I just have this strange sinking feeling in my chest. And the air feels so haunting.
It's hot as balls right now in the middle of winter in my room. I'm prancing around in the tank top and it's still hot.
When my uncle died...the night he visited us. Our room was hot as hell...my sisters and mom who slept in the same room (we were little) all felt the heat.
When the random dude I saw dying in the pond of my house (well I saw his corspe)...I have this "sinking" feeling as well. That's when he begun following me. And each summer around June to July are the most frightening month because strange things keep happening in my house. Like getting a note on my phone written by no one in the house. No one alive anyways.
Well, let's just say right now. I feel the same feeling of the first haunting. The strange sinking feeling, the heat and presence.
I went to my sister's room. It's COLD. Our rooms are right next to each other. She walks into mine to check out the "heat" that I'm talking about. She's like "Omg...it's hot in here..."
Eff. I meditate on and off so I'm more susceptible to the paranormal events. Like a higher six sense to feeling presences. I quit meditating because it got frightening. I was beginning to sense things I didn't want to sense or wasn't ready to sense.
Being a strange individual, who has bad luck following it around, spirits are easier drawn to me. That's why the fortune teller advised me not to go to my friend's funeral. He died young and most likely to be restless...
I don't scare easily. Like I'd watch horror flicks in my bedroom at home alone. There'll be noises in my sister's room. Or what sounded like a woman talking...I'd go check it out. Find nothing. Shrug it off and resume my movie lol. Hell, I draw horror stories for fun.
But my god.
Am I frightened for no reason right now. I just can't stop this feeling of dread.
What should I do?
So my lil sis and I left to the gym right after. The sense of dread was unbearable in the house.
During the car ride...my sis and I had this game we always play. We'd spin the wheel or the stereo connected to an iPod and say "This foreshadows my future tomorrow." Just for the fun of it. Does it come true. Not really lol. But the random shiet that comes up are always entertaining. We played this with Mikey before.
I said "Mikey, are you following us? What is it that you want from us?" And told my lil sis to spin the stereo wheel to shuffle to a random song.
"I just wanna see you work out for me~" played first. We looked at each other and laughed our heads off because we were heading to the gym.
I felt something brushes on my hair.
US: "Well...is there a reason you're following us?"
iPod: *plays* Don't wake me up
Me: I don't get it...
Lil sister:...This is Kenny's favorite song. (Mikey's best friend)
Me: Does he want us to say something to his best friend Kenny??
Lil sister: Do you want us to say something to Kenny?
iPod: *plays* Drank in my cup
Lil Sister: Not sure. (We looked up the lyrics later...it had something to do with cockily claiming to steal someone's girlfriend. Kenny and Mikey although best friends but were friendly competitors. They both fell for the same girl. Emma. Mikey current girlfriend.)
Lil Sis: Is there something you'd like to pass to your girlfriend Emma, Mikey?
*spins stereo wheel*
iPod: *Colour blind by Elyar Fox* came on.
"The last one left, she broke my heart in twoa million pieces, that girl isn't you, no
" (Lil sis was his ex. lol...)
"Gimme your heart, girl I'm not gonna let go
out of the dark gonna love you retro
my lonely days were countless
you came my way and now...
Gimme your heart, girl I'm not gonna let go"
(Of all stupid party songs my sis has. This song actually came on.)
I know we might just be crazy, missing him or something. But funny how the songs came on keep making sense. So we continued.
Lil Sis: Anything you'd like to say to Arnold (my best friend, those two always said slutty things to each other and smacking each other's asses and stuff)
*Spins stereo wheel*
iPod: "I'll be pulling it down in a minute
How long will it take before you yellen' my name
Oh baby, buy me a wedding
I'll be like Oh yeah
You'll be like Oh Yea" (Lmfao. Oh yeah by Chris Brown. LOL WTF. It's so appropriate to what they'd normally do/say to each other)
Lil sis: Message to your family?
iPod: "Feel so Close" (by drake) played. The irony...because Mikey always had trouble and constantly bicker with his older sister and dad. He said his dad never cried in front of him before. I saw that man cried at the funeral. His mom and dad were having troubles but they were comforting each other in an embrace and tears. His sister looked like she hadn't slept in days, eyes swelled with tears. My heart broke to see them like that.)
Me: How are you feeling, Mikey? Are you ok?
iPod: I wanna be (by Chris Brown) Either we're just insane and look for meaning in things to mend our broken hearts. I felt like the song was appropriate. Mikey was the type to always want to be there for other people at their worst moments. He'd always try to cheer people up. I think, it's the closest song to telling us he's paying visits to people he'd loved and trying to comfort them.
Me: Are you visiting loved ones?
iPod: "Love, you're in piecesThere's no one left to lay you down
Or say it's okay
On the worst night, of the worst year
Though we might fall, we'll go out punching
(Bloodstained heart by Darren hayes played. My lil sis and I just started having chills and tears streamed down our faces.)
Where you're starless, and blind to dreams
We can dream each other
To a new day
Where the good guys always win
And heaven still means something
(I don't think I've seen my lil sister cried that often. at the "Heaven still means something" I think we just lost it. I never felt anything listening to these songs until now.)
Me: Mikey. What's the afterlife like...?
iPod : I feel so extraordinarySomething's got a hold on me
I get this feeling I'm in motion
A sudden sense of liberty
I don't care 'cause I'm not there
And I don't care if I'm here tomorrow
Again and again I've taken too much
Of the things that cost you too much
I used to think that the day would never come
I'd see delight in the shade of the morning sun
My morning sun is the drug that brings me near
To the childhood I lost, replaced by fear
I used to think that the day would never come
That my life would depend on the morning sun..
(Seriously, of all the party songs. THIS CAME ON. New Order by True Faith)
I can't tell you where we're going
I guess there was just no way of knowing
(Whether Mikey was actually communicating with us or not. I was having mad chills of how appropriate each random song spins brought to us. It corresponds with the questions.)
We poured some heartfelt feels out to him and wish him the best of luck because we could feel his presence fading.
Us: Are you heading to your family now?
iPod: *played* YEAH BITCH! YEAH BITCH!
Us: *laughed out heads off* omfg...wtf. So appropriate. You asshole! lolz ( I think that was the only thing closest to a "Yeah" he could find.)
Us: Don't go yet. We have more questions to ask!
iPod: *played* Outta time (by Natalie Kills)
We briefly restated our feels for him and our farewells again. You'll always be in our hearts, kiddo.
Have a good life next life. Don't be an idiot and get in a car with an intoxicated driver again. Please. I hope we run into each other in your next life.
Good night, sweet dreams. We love you, Mikey.